I wanted to share an insightful video by Ralph Smart covering a deeper look inside the movie Joker.
For those who have not seen the movie, I wanted to let you know there are not any major spoilers. I have yet to see this movie, but I plan on watching it soon. Ralph just covers the inside of the mind when there is a lack of love, compassion, and empathy.
It gives a look into the mind of someone who grew up in trauma and snaps. The lack of love, hope, and human compassion can really mess with someone’s mind. This is why compassion and hope are so important.
Here are some ways that I personally practice that may or may not help when it comes to coming from a place of love, understanding, and compassion:
- Next time you see someone having a rough day try giving them a compliment, listening to them, and helping them find hope. Even if someone is smiling and acting like everything is okay, still, be kind. You never know what hides behind the smile of a person who is internally hurting.
- When someone is wanting to talk and express themselves, put whatever you have down and listen to them. Not just half-listening urging them to wrap up what they were saying. Take a moment and really listen.
- Don’t stomp on others’ dreams or make them feel stupid if they have a huge dream. After all, how would we have all this amazing technology if someone did not go against the norm to create something others thought was impossible?
- Don’t belittle people who don’t understand something. Help them understand without making them feel small or silly for not knowing. There is so much we don’t know, and we will never know. Honestly, someone may understand one area of a subject you don’t and can help you through that area, while you help them through another. No one has all the answers.
- Have compassion for others. If you would not like something done to you it makes sense not to do whatever you would not like to others. We all have emotions, if something were to anger, sadden, or upset you then most likely it can invoke these emotions in others.
- Be honest without being harsh. Telling small white lies or huge lies does not benefit anyone. Within time the truth will come to light. It may be uncomfortable to state the truth but being uncomfortable is not a bad thing.
- Stand up for those who are being bullied. Do not be the person who looks the other way, or worse, video’s the situation. Step in and help them. You may even make an amazing friend for years to come.
- Never place yourself above or below anyone. We are all one, we all go through life trying to figure out what this is all about, and we all pass on. No one is better than the next. The rich can easily become poor in the blink of an eye and the poor can become rich. The knowledgeable can lose their memory and a person with limited knowledge can always learn. Never let your ego get the best of you.
- Do not let anger speak for you when you are mad. Find a moment to recollect your thoughts, think them through, and then come back to the subject or person who angered you.
- Be kind to yourself. Mistakes are made, but these do not define us. We can learn from mistakes if we take a moment to look at the bigger picture. Being kind to yourself often radiates to others.
- Always be kind to others, even when you don’t see eye to eye. We are all different with different beliefs, backgrounds, understandings, and more. Being cruel and insensitive to others who do not view things the same is a bit silly. This world is enormous with many different cultures and upbringings. If you don’t agree, just simply say I’ll just agree to disagree and change the subject, instead of spending too much energy on trying to get someone to see eye to eye with you. It’s okay to be different.
- Realize everyone, including the person in the mirror, makes mistakes. Everyone can change their ways. Don’t hold on to old grudges. We live and we learn. Staying too focused on the mistakes of other people stumps our inner growth.
No one is perfect. Can you think of a time you did not mean to hurt someone, but you did? The time spent trying to apologize and how you wanted them to understand you did not mean to hurt them, but they were unforgiving. Causing you to hurt inwardly? Try to come from a place of understanding, not hate when someone makes a mistake.
These are just a few of the things I try to work towards. You may agree or disagree, but that is okay. I just thought I would share some of the things that help me when it comes to being there for others.
Hurt people hurt people. If you are hurting and you decide to help those who are hurting, you are also helping yourself.
Like Ralph says, Batman could have just as easily become the Joker after his parents were killed. Instead, he turned that hurt into power and helped others. It may be fiction, but it holds a huge message. So, who are you going to be? Batman, Joker, or the civilian on the street ignoring the pain letting it grow? It truly is up to you, no matter what life obstacles you’ve had to go through.
If you are being bullied
If you are someone who is constantly being bullied, belittled, let down, and feel like giving up or showing bullies how it feels, please don’t let your hurt make you become something you do not like.
I know the school systems are failing and people in the workplace may look at you like you are crazy if a coworker is constantly picking on you and you speak up. You could be 90 and be bullied, belittled, and talked down to. It’s not just a problem among the youth.
Keep speaking up against it without falling into the temptation of making others feel how you are right now. Though do this in a safe manner, these times have gotten crazy these past couple of years, people are quick to harm others in the heat of the moment.
This is coming from a girl who was bullied for many years because of mental health-related problems, family problems, and things beyond my control when I was growing up. I get it, it hurts. It sucks. It’s so easy to imagine the bullies getting a taste of their own medicine.
Don’t wish ill upon others. You never know, the person who bullies others could be bullied and abused at home, displaying what they see and experience to others because that’s all they know how to display.
Keep being kind, keep speaking up, and keep saying hey this is not right. It’s not easy and yes it hurts. I’m not telling you to just accept it, I am saying stick up for yourself and others without becoming a person filled with hate and anger who bullies bullies. This does not help eliminate bullies, only creates more.
Please don’t lose yourself due to another’s actions. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Talk to people about how you are feeling and why, so your emotions are not bottled. If you become too overwhelmed it is okay to seek professional help.
Your emotions are valid. You are important. You do not deserve to be treated like a doormat. And you do not deserve the burden of bringing pain to others, especially when you know how it feels. Please don’t become someone you are not due to the pain others cause.Tweet
If your parents constantly belittle you, try to stay away from them the best you can. If you are being abused in any way please call the law so you are able to get to a place of safety. It can be scary, but you do not need to be in a place of abuse.
I will say, there are some people who do not care at all. If you feel like the person is heartless and cruel, please find safety. There are evil people in this world who do not care. Who get off on other people’s pain. Avoid these people the best you can. Research red flags and manipulation tactics to help strengthen your discernment.
https://www.thehotline.org/ is a website for those who may be experiencing abuse. It has numbers to call, signs of abuse, ways to help a friend going through abuse, and more. If you feel like you or someone you know is being abused please visit this website so you can get an idea of what you can do.