Depression is an emotion I am well acquainted with. When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with chronic depression, social anxiety, impulse control, bipolar disorder, and a few other things when I was admitted to a mental health facility for self-harm at the age of 14. My childhood was not the best and as a result of the suppressed trauma, my mental state of mind was everywhere as a teen and young adult.
When I became a new mom I understood children learned by seeing and doing. So, instantly I started focusing on the areas I needed to work on, so my son would be able to know how to respond to emotions better than I did as a child, teen, and young adult.
Years of ignoring the fact I was indeed the person who got me to this state, whether subconsciously or not, was a major wake up call. Boy did I HATE admitting that fact. Situations and other people played a small part, but how I responded was a major part of the problem.
Anger, depression, communication, social anxiety, and other interpersonal problems were at the top of the list of things I did not want to admit to for the longest. Though that is the first step in any problem… seeing and admitting to the problem. The second is gaining the motivation and determination to improve for a better life.
I’ve dealt with depression from childhood after going through sexual and physical abuse from different men my mom dated. Later my depression became anger, but because I did not want to inflict hurt upon others or make anyone worry, I turned inward and would hurt myself by cutting my skin to relieve the emotional turmoil I kept going through.
This is how my own destructive pattering went: situation or person causing emotional pain, I would become angry and then hurt myself to ease the internal hurt, then I would become depressed because of harming myself. It was a horrible pattern I developed to the response of anger, hurt, frustration, and not wanting to bother others with the emotional rollercoaster in my mind.
After getting into a few abusive relationships myself I became what I hated most. I became the one who hurt others in fear they would hurt me (that is if an argument would get out of hand, or someone walked aggressively towards me.)
I would cut to ease the feeling of guilt but then would become depressed. Still stuck in a cycle that leads nowhere. Lost and broken doesn’t begin to explain how defeated I felt. Surely life isn’t supposed to be that hard… or was it?
I still don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know that as I began to work through some of the things I kept suppressed I felt better and my anger and depression lessened. I do have days where depression gets to me and some times my anger turns into frantically yelling to get a point across (never works by the way lol). However, I am much more equipped to handle my rollercoasters of emotions.
One of the first things I did when I started trying to help myself develop better control over my emotions was investing in workbooks. I also spent time researching and applying different methods I thought would be helpful when my depression was getting too much to handle.
Knowledge is only potential power, it’s the actual doing of things that help generate the power of change. You can learn all day long, but if you don’t put what you learn into some type of action then of course nothing will change.Tweet
So I wanted to recommend a book that helped me understand depression from a different perspective and helped with tools that come in handy when depression hits. I don’t believe there is a cure-all for emotions. There will be days depression is so overwhelming you may feel hopeless and others it will be there in the background quietly, however, there are ways to help you through the rough days.
The 10-Step Depression Relief Workbook was a great start for me, and I hope it can help whoever may read this recommendation post. Always remember, if you believe it can help it will if you believe it won’t then it may not. Only you can make that call for yourself. If nothing seems to work then forge your own way, the people who came up with new ways of being did just that. You can too.
I am not sponsored or affiliated with this workbook; I am simply recommending a wordbook that I found helped me through my own depression, with the hopes of helping someone else.